My first entry

This is a new experience for me. Hopefully you'll find this isn't too boring for you. :)

This year started out a lot different than I had anticipated it to. I was hospitalized the first week in January for a week with  a severe asthma attack. I also started being in very intense pain throughout my body and after I was released it became so severe I was having trouble doing much of anything. Walking was difficult. I saw several doctors and was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Although I had heard of that disease before all I could tell you about it is from what I had learned on television commercials. In writing this I'm not trying to say that I have such a horrible life and want people to feel sorry for me. I am hoping that it will bring some understanding to this disease and the affects it can have on someone.

I've had to learn to modify my life and right now at least, there are many things I could do before that I can no longer do. I don't know if the severe pain I'm having now will always be with me or if it will diminish, I've heard stories of both. Even if it does get better (I hope and pray daily for this), I'm sure there will still be things I will not be able to realistically do anymore. Trying to keep myself "up" mentally has proved to be just as challenging as physically. One area I have truly been blessed in though is that I know that Heavenly Father's hand is in this and that there is a reason for this trial in my life. I do not know what that is yet, and may not know in this lifetime but I have had many "Divine Signatures", or miracles, that show me that He is mindful of me. I will share some of these, as seem appropriate, as time goes.

This week has been my worst pain week yet. Saturday night I was not able to sleep at all because of the pain. It wasn't until a little after 5am Sunday morning that I fell asleep for the first time. I was awake by 8am that same morning. I did not make it to work on Monday. I was able to work 3 hours on Tuesday but was in extreme pain the entire time. I haven't worked since then. Tomorrow is Friday and I really hope to be able to make it to work even for a couple of hours. I did go back to the doctor on Monday but there's not really anything more they can do for me at this point. I have pain killers, am on 2 medications that sometimes offer help to people with fibromyalgia, so far they haven't seemed to do much for me. My doctor did give me a muscle relaxant to try as I've been having very severe and painful muscle spasms lately. She also started me on some calcium and magnesium supplements. I'm hoping they will provide some help. There's just not a lot of research or proven therapies to help this condition. The other hard part is that what works for one person doesn't mean it will work for another. I believe it is a very misunderstood disease. I've already come across people, including some doctors, that don't really believe this is a real condition. I wish there was a way that I could transfer the extreme amount of pain I'm in to them so they could feel it if just for a minute. I've never been a "wimp" when it comes to pain. So when I say this is extremely painful, I do mean it's extremely painful!

I have been blessed to have some really good friends that have helped me out a lot during this time. There are some very basic things I have taken for granted in the past. The ability to put sheets on my bed, to exercise, to work 8 hours a day, to cook, to clean my house, to use a can opener, and so many other simple things. I can't wait until the day I can do these things again. I'm grateful to those who have helped me do some of these things in the meantime.