Last week was amazing! Monday through Thursday I had 4 really good pain days. My pain level never got above a 7 during that time. Truly a blessing! I've been back up to severe pain this week but having those few days of lesser pain felt so good, I am truly grateful! A good friend of mine sent me a card in the mail last week. It had a quote in it that I absolutely love. I don't know who said it but the quote is "When someone has an ailment or an illness and they are healed as the result of a blessing, their faith is being strengthened. But for those who aren't healed but continue faithful, their faith is perfected. The first is a faith-promoting experience. The second is faith-perfecting." What a cool quote! I have had some Priesthood blessings and because of those I do know that I am going to be okay, that this trial is for a reason.
Easter was this past Sunday. It was fun going to my mom's house seeing everyone and finally seeing her new home. It still has some work to be done but it's looking very nice. The other great part about Easter is remembering that the Savior died for us and that because of His infinite atonement we will all be resurrected to perfected bodies free from pain and illness. That sounds so wonderful to me right now! There is a wonderful short YouTube video about the Atonement. The link is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlc5RvmWN4s
I started pool therapy this week. It is what it sounds like, physical therapy in a pool. The water is kept at 98 degrees and the pool is only 4 feet in depth. It was actually quite nice. I was really sore going into it but after a few minutes of being in the warm water I could feel my muscles relax a bit. Then my therapist made me do exercises so so much for the relaxed muscles! It was tiring but I believe beneficial. I'll be alternating land therapy and pool therapy visits each time I go. The trick I've learned from many sources is that I have to do some exercise every single day. That even skipping one day can be harmful. Not only do you not get better if you don't exercise but you actually get worse. Some days it's much harder than others to get the exercise in, I often have to take a pain killer before hand in order to get through it. I hope with time it will become easier.
The other good news to report is that last week I worked 29.5 hours and this week I'm on track to work 30. 30 is the maximum I'm allowed by my doctor right now. It is very challenging to do this many hours. I have been doing 4 hours at work and 2 more from home each day. That does help as usually by the end of 4 hours (and often before that) I am very sore and need to come home and relax a bit before I can continue to work. I'm grateful that my employer is understanding and allowing me to work through this. Another blessing, or as I like to now use, "Divine Signature".
I'm hoping for some more of those "good days" ahead. I'm sure they will come, in the mean time, I'll just keep doing what I can do to get better.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
"...Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will ashew to you to day..." Exodus 14:13
I thought this was an appropriate title for my update. I've had a lot of pain these past couple weeks but have seen the hand of the Lord in helping me through it all. I had another appointment with my primary doctor post ER visit. I was worried that it would be another "what can I do for you" visit. Don't get me wrong, I really like my doctor a lot, she was just at the end of being able to help me. I sent out a text to a lot of my friends the morning of the appointment and asked for their prayers that my appointment would be helpful. Prayers were answered! She ended up sending me to a pain clinic at one of the local hospitals. I went there on Monday, more on that later
I was in a lot of pain over the weekend and had to take a lot of meds to get through. I really wanted to go to church on Sunday as it was the last Sunday before my good friend Marcee was moving and she and her husband were singing during Sacrament meeting. They sang beautifully and I'm glad I went, pain notwithstanding. I had a bonus that day as the local Mission President and his wife and youngest daughter were attending my Ward that day too. President and Sister Howell are such amazing and inspiring people. It was a true blessing to be able to see them too.
Back to the medical update; As some of you know my exercise bike broke a couple weeks ago. I've tried unsuccessfully many times to fix it but it's a no- go. It's made it very challenging for me to get exercise in as I often feel very dizzy and unsteady so walking can be very difficult. I've been trying to decide if it was an okay use of my credit card to charge a new bike. I have learned from experience, and many sources, that if I don't exercise every day not only do I not get better but it actually makes the pain worse. I've been looking online for bikes but they are very expensive. I've tried Craig's list and haven't found anything either. Today at work I was looking on our internal website "want adds" and someone just today posted a recumbent bike they were selling for $200. The bike has barely been used. It's in new condition! When I saw that add I felt strongly that it was an answer to a prayer. I get to get the bike on Friday!
I had my very long 2 hour appointment on Monday but it was so worthwhile. The doctor there is sending me to a place called Medical Advanced Pain Specialists (MAPS). They specialize in working with people with chronic pain and the doctor said they have a pain program there that probably 50% of the people that use it have fibromyalgia. They have you see a pain psychologist who helps assess what the affect of the pain has on your life and also what types of non-medicine things I can do; biofeedback or other ways to lessen the pain. You also work with a physical therapist who specializes in working with people in chronic pain. They will then put together a program for you. The doctor said they'll also help with diet and all of that. I'm thinking of the place as a rehab/physical therapy center on steroids! I called Monday afternoon to make my appointments and the person said it would probably be a while before I could get in, especially to the pain psychologist, but when she checked the schedule she was surprised and found an appointment for me just two days later! What's more I can see that person and then there was an opening for the physical therapist immediately after! I don't' think any of these things are just coincidences. I believe there was divine intervention.
The pain doctor also upped my medication that's supposed to dull nerve pain and put me on a new muscle relaxant that will hopefully help my muscles to calm down. I'm not supposed to take that one just as needed but actually take it every day. Hopefully it will have some benefits soon. Anyway, I'm doing well. The pain is not gone, but I know I can get through this. I know that the prayers others have said in my behalf and my own are helping me a lot. I'm very excited to go to MAPS and think it will make a difference for me. Tonight one of my good friends (a Sister Missionary that served in MN) is coming to town and staying with me for a few days. Looking forward to spending some time with her as well.
I was in a lot of pain over the weekend and had to take a lot of meds to get through. I really wanted to go to church on Sunday as it was the last Sunday before my good friend Marcee was moving and she and her husband were singing during Sacrament meeting. They sang beautifully and I'm glad I went, pain notwithstanding. I had a bonus that day as the local Mission President and his wife and youngest daughter were attending my Ward that day too. President and Sister Howell are such amazing and inspiring people. It was a true blessing to be able to see them too.
Back to the medical update; As some of you know my exercise bike broke a couple weeks ago. I've tried unsuccessfully many times to fix it but it's a no- go. It's made it very challenging for me to get exercise in as I often feel very dizzy and unsteady so walking can be very difficult. I've been trying to decide if it was an okay use of my credit card to charge a new bike. I have learned from experience, and many sources, that if I don't exercise every day not only do I not get better but it actually makes the pain worse. I've been looking online for bikes but they are very expensive. I've tried Craig's list and haven't found anything either. Today at work I was looking on our internal website "want adds" and someone just today posted a recumbent bike they were selling for $200. The bike has barely been used. It's in new condition! When I saw that add I felt strongly that it was an answer to a prayer. I get to get the bike on Friday!
I had my very long 2 hour appointment on Monday but it was so worthwhile. The doctor there is sending me to a place called Medical Advanced Pain Specialists (MAPS). They specialize in working with people with chronic pain and the doctor said they have a pain program there that probably 50% of the people that use it have fibromyalgia. They have you see a pain psychologist who helps assess what the affect of the pain has on your life and also what types of non-medicine things I can do; biofeedback or other ways to lessen the pain. You also work with a physical therapist who specializes in working with people in chronic pain. They will then put together a program for you. The doctor said they'll also help with diet and all of that. I'm thinking of the place as a rehab/physical therapy center on steroids! I called Monday afternoon to make my appointments and the person said it would probably be a while before I could get in, especially to the pain psychologist, but when she checked the schedule she was surprised and found an appointment for me just two days later! What's more I can see that person and then there was an opening for the physical therapist immediately after! I don't' think any of these things are just coincidences. I believe there was divine intervention.
The pain doctor also upped my medication that's supposed to dull nerve pain and put me on a new muscle relaxant that will hopefully help my muscles to calm down. I'm not supposed to take that one just as needed but actually take it every day. Hopefully it will have some benefits soon. Anyway, I'm doing well. The pain is not gone, but I know I can get through this. I know that the prayers others have said in my behalf and my own are helping me a lot. I'm very excited to go to MAPS and think it will make a difference for me. Tonight one of my good friends (a Sister Missionary that served in MN) is coming to town and staying with me for a few days. Looking forward to spending some time with her as well.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Movie, General Conference, and the ER
Friday night Donna's kids, minus a sick Lexi, came over and watched Tangled with me. It was a lot of fun. Really good movie and we all had fun laughing at Ellie (13) for crying through several parts of the movie. I would recommend the movie for any who have not yet seen it, beware though as you may need tissues.... :)
Saturday Donna and the three oldest came over along with Marcee and her two little ones and watched the morning session of General Conference with me. It was amazing!! There was a talk by Elder Richards that talked about pain. Here's the link if you want to watch it. http://lds.org/general-conference/watch/2011/04?lang=eng&vid=879844073001&cid=9. I've had lots and lots of friends tell me they thought of me as they watched it. Once the text version of it comes out online I'll probably copy some of the parts I liked the most. Marcee was kind enough to bring over and cook lunch for all of us for in between sessions. Everyone but Donna's kids left then and we stayed and watched the second session. I was having a lot of pain that day and by the time the second session was over I had taken 4 Ultrams (prescription pain killers), 4 extra strength Tylenol, 2 prescription anti-inflammatorys, and 1 muscle relaxant. I was still in pain and had started getting a pretty bad pain on my left side towards the front. Donna picked me and the kids up to take us to the baptisms going on for our Ward. That proved to be a little too painful for me and halfway through I was hurting pretty bad. Donna offered to take me home right then but the thought of getting in her van and having to sit down sounded horrible. At that point anything touching my legs would have hurt too badly. We did leave a little later and I continued to medicate myself throughout the night. Then came Sunday....
Tex picked up a disabled man in our Ward and took him to the chapel while the rest of the family stayed and listened to Conference on the internet. Unknowing to even Donna, Tex then called me and offered to pick me up and take me to their house so I could be with them while listening to it. It was a very nice offer but proved to be even nicer since he didn't stay at home himself and just made the trip to drop me off at his house. I don't remember as much about the Sunday session as my pain was getting worse and worse. In between sessions we just hung out but my pain was increasing and I started getting super sharp pains on the left side of my chest and abdomen. Those sharp pains would last anywhere from 30 seconds to about 5 minutes, at which time I couldn't even talk. It got to the point where Donna asked me if I wanted to go in and after a little while of it getting worse I decided I did. We both missed the second session of Sunday conference. The good thing about going to the ER with severe chest pain that doubles you over is that they take you back right away - no waiting!!! They did tests to make sure I wasn't having a heart attack (I wasn't really concerned about that, I just wanted to make the pain stop!). They drugged me up and put me on muscle relaxants and still with as much medication as they gave me I was still in severe pain. There was nothing else they could do. They made sure I wasn't dying and sent me home with more pain meds.
I seem to keep redefining my "10" on the pain scale every couple weeks here. Not sure what that's about but I'm hoping to not do it anymore. Every time I think of the pain scale I think of the Brian Regan (a comedian) skit of the Emergency Room. It is hilarious!!! I've provided a link for that as well. Makes me laugh every time I watch it. :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cP4zgb9H3Cg
I do continue to see many blessings and miracles in my life despite all of this. I've really started to notice the "small" things in life that can just make a difference. A random text from a friend, some quote I see that says just what I need to hear, a hug from a kid. There's other things like a friend coming and cleaning my entire house for me while I was at work. Another friend who drops by a couple times a week to check in and always does a little something while she's there. Others who call me, email me, pray for me, text me, visit me, etc. Those are all true blessings. I've always been grateful for those people and those things but I'm starting to notice more and more of the good things in life. They say when someone goes blind their other senses become more sensitive, I believe that has happened to me in a different sort of sense. I always had some of those things but now that I've lost a lot of ability to do so many things I notice the goodness around me so much more.
Wishing you all a great week!
Saturday Donna and the three oldest came over along with Marcee and her two little ones and watched the morning session of General Conference with me. It was amazing!! There was a talk by Elder Richards that talked about pain. Here's the link if you want to watch it. http://lds.org/general-conference/watch/2011/04?lang=eng&vid=879844073001&cid=9. I've had lots and lots of friends tell me they thought of me as they watched it. Once the text version of it comes out online I'll probably copy some of the parts I liked the most. Marcee was kind enough to bring over and cook lunch for all of us for in between sessions. Everyone but Donna's kids left then and we stayed and watched the second session. I was having a lot of pain that day and by the time the second session was over I had taken 4 Ultrams (prescription pain killers), 4 extra strength Tylenol, 2 prescription anti-inflammatorys, and 1 muscle relaxant. I was still in pain and had started getting a pretty bad pain on my left side towards the front. Donna picked me and the kids up to take us to the baptisms going on for our Ward. That proved to be a little too painful for me and halfway through I was hurting pretty bad. Donna offered to take me home right then but the thought of getting in her van and having to sit down sounded horrible. At that point anything touching my legs would have hurt too badly. We did leave a little later and I continued to medicate myself throughout the night. Then came Sunday....
Tex picked up a disabled man in our Ward and took him to the chapel while the rest of the family stayed and listened to Conference on the internet. Unknowing to even Donna, Tex then called me and offered to pick me up and take me to their house so I could be with them while listening to it. It was a very nice offer but proved to be even nicer since he didn't stay at home himself and just made the trip to drop me off at his house. I don't remember as much about the Sunday session as my pain was getting worse and worse. In between sessions we just hung out but my pain was increasing and I started getting super sharp pains on the left side of my chest and abdomen. Those sharp pains would last anywhere from 30 seconds to about 5 minutes, at which time I couldn't even talk. It got to the point where Donna asked me if I wanted to go in and after a little while of it getting worse I decided I did. We both missed the second session of Sunday conference. The good thing about going to the ER with severe chest pain that doubles you over is that they take you back right away - no waiting!!! They did tests to make sure I wasn't having a heart attack (I wasn't really concerned about that, I just wanted to make the pain stop!). They drugged me up and put me on muscle relaxants and still with as much medication as they gave me I was still in severe pain. There was nothing else they could do. They made sure I wasn't dying and sent me home with more pain meds.
I seem to keep redefining my "10" on the pain scale every couple weeks here. Not sure what that's about but I'm hoping to not do it anymore. Every time I think of the pain scale I think of the Brian Regan (a comedian) skit of the Emergency Room. It is hilarious!!! I've provided a link for that as well. Makes me laugh every time I watch it. :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cP4zgb9H3Cg
I do continue to see many blessings and miracles in my life despite all of this. I've really started to notice the "small" things in life that can just make a difference. A random text from a friend, some quote I see that says just what I need to hear, a hug from a kid. There's other things like a friend coming and cleaning my entire house for me while I was at work. Another friend who drops by a couple times a week to check in and always does a little something while she's there. Others who call me, email me, pray for me, text me, visit me, etc. Those are all true blessings. I've always been grateful for those people and those things but I'm starting to notice more and more of the good things in life. They say when someone goes blind their other senses become more sensitive, I believe that has happened to me in a different sort of sense. I always had some of those things but now that I've lost a lot of ability to do so many things I notice the goodness around me so much more.
Wishing you all a great week!
Friday, April 1, 2011
What a week!
It's Friday and I can say I survived the week!! I've had a second pretty bad pain week in a row now. I did go to work each day this week but several days were very much a struggle for me. I did have one "good" pain day this week, my first one in over two weeks. My definition of a good pain day is a 3-4 on the pain scale without the use of medications. That night the pain did get worse but it was a much needed relief to how I have been feeling. I saw my doctor again today and we're changing up my meds up again. The Rx I've been on for a couple months now that was supposed to help dull nerve pain has not worked. She's taking me off that medication and putting me back on an anti-inflammatory. I had previously been on prescription anti-inflammatorys for about 21 years. She had taken me off because those can be very damaging to my liver and kidneys. My pain over the past few weeks has gotten worse and it's time to put those back in the equation. Hopefully my organs will be okay, and almost more importantly to me at this point, is that the pain will start to lessen sometime soon.
I was in so much pain leaving my doctor's office today it was difficult to drive home. Thankfully my hands weren't in horrible pain so I was able to grip my steering wheel but the rest of me was in a lot of pain. I just said a prayer and drove home. I made it and took pain pills and muscle relaxants right away and I'm doing a little better right now. I am grateful for the strength I've received beyond my own so many times through this. There have been several times when the pain and exhaustion from this was just so much I didn't think I could take another step but yet somehow I could. I know that I'm receiving heavenly help. I'm grateful for all the prayers that have gone out in my behalf, they truly have lifted me up. I'm still hopeful that someday this "acute" phase I'm in will go away and I can get back to a somewhat "normal" way of life. After my first blog post a dear friend emailed me saying "I want you to know that you inspired me to be more grateful for the good health that I do have. I will work harder today to put it to a good and purposeful use!" I really liked that response. I too want to use the health I do have do good and purposeful things. While my disease is in no way life-threatening, it is very real and has changed my life forever. I hope everyone will remember that their bodies are a gift from above and we have them only for a certain amount of time, in this lifetime anyway. We need to take care of them as best we can and not take for granted that we will always have good health. You never know what might happen, whether due to an illness, injury, or accident, things can happen in the blink of an eye. I am so grateful that I do have the gospel in my life and I know that one day I will be resurrected to a perfect pain-free and disease free body. That is a promise to all of Heavenly Father's children, whether they believe in Him or not.
This weekend I'm excited to be able to have church come to me via Satellite television. Every 6 months my church has General Conference where members world wide are able to listen to the words of the Prophet and Apostles and other leaders of the church. I hope all of you watching it will enjoy it. For those of you not familiar with it and are interested you can watch it on byu tv if you have satellite or on lds.org on the internet.
Tonight Donna's kids are supposed to be coming over and we're going to watch Tangled. I've heard it's really good and am excited to see it. I'll report back on what I thought. Until next time....
I was in so much pain leaving my doctor's office today it was difficult to drive home. Thankfully my hands weren't in horrible pain so I was able to grip my steering wheel but the rest of me was in a lot of pain. I just said a prayer and drove home. I made it and took pain pills and muscle relaxants right away and I'm doing a little better right now. I am grateful for the strength I've received beyond my own so many times through this. There have been several times when the pain and exhaustion from this was just so much I didn't think I could take another step but yet somehow I could. I know that I'm receiving heavenly help. I'm grateful for all the prayers that have gone out in my behalf, they truly have lifted me up. I'm still hopeful that someday this "acute" phase I'm in will go away and I can get back to a somewhat "normal" way of life. After my first blog post a dear friend emailed me saying "I want you to know that you inspired me to be more grateful for the good health that I do have. I will work harder today to put it to a good and purposeful use!" I really liked that response. I too want to use the health I do have do good and purposeful things. While my disease is in no way life-threatening, it is very real and has changed my life forever. I hope everyone will remember that their bodies are a gift from above and we have them only for a certain amount of time, in this lifetime anyway. We need to take care of them as best we can and not take for granted that we will always have good health. You never know what might happen, whether due to an illness, injury, or accident, things can happen in the blink of an eye. I am so grateful that I do have the gospel in my life and I know that one day I will be resurrected to a perfect pain-free and disease free body. That is a promise to all of Heavenly Father's children, whether they believe in Him or not.
This weekend I'm excited to be able to have church come to me via Satellite television. Every 6 months my church has General Conference where members world wide are able to listen to the words of the Prophet and Apostles and other leaders of the church. I hope all of you watching it will enjoy it. For those of you not familiar with it and are interested you can watch it on byu tv if you have satellite or on lds.org on the internet.
Tonight Donna's kids are supposed to be coming over and we're going to watch Tangled. I've heard it's really good and am excited to see it. I'll report back on what I thought. Until next time....
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